Friday, February 25, 2011

Does your relationship resume measure up?

This week, I saw two posts on Facebook that spoke of there being "no good men" out there in society.  It broke my heart that so many women are disheartened in their dating search.

As women, we are programmed from the start to want the beautiful wedding complete with the dress, the good food and music, and the knight in shining armour. The reality of it is, after that four hour wedding comes a lifetime of marriage. Are you ready for marriage and commitment? Does your relationship resume measure up?

Women, do you have that list of things you want in a "good" man? Of course you do. We all should have those standards of what we will and will not accept in a mate. But do you measure up to those same standards? How can you ask him to come to the table with 100% when you are only willing to give 75%?

And let's not talk about the self esteem issues and quotes from Mama that hold us back from letting that "good" man treat us right. I bet a few of you have had a "good" man come across your path, but you weren't emotionally ready and he left. I've seen women have a wonderful man, but he was too fat, too nice, didn't make enough money, doesn't have a college degree- blah, blah, blah. You get the point don't you?

After that good man leaves, you feel abandoned and hurt so you lash out by saying there are no good men and then attach yourselves to a complete loser (and give yourself credit- you knew he was a loser from the start) and then complain that there are no good men. Or maybe you have outgrown the loser you chose and you are ready to move on, but you complain about the loser that you 1. had kids with, 2. had a relationship with for several years and now you are tired of his mess.

Ladies, please remember one thing: YOU CHOOSE the man you are with. If you choose a man that is disrespectful, that is irresponsible only because he's sexy as hell and good in bed- that is a direct reflection on where you are emotionally in your life.

The alternative is making sure that your relationship resume measures up.

If you want him to make 6 figures and have a college degree, do you have the same?

If you want him to be respectful and emotionally available, are you willing to to share your emotions with him and respect him as a man?

If you feel like he should make changes, are you willing to listen to his constructive criticism of you when you need to make changes?

Remember, the good man is going to want to take a look at your relationship resume as well? When that good man comes along, are you the right person for the job?

Today's Challenge:

Write your own relationship resume. Take a serious look at your redeeming qualities and your not so redeeming qualities. Hint- if most of the things you write down have to do with things or materialism, you have a whole other problem on your hands!

Peace and Blessings,

Serenity & Strength Consulting

Interested in life coaching services?
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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Can you see the forest for the trees?

Most of us have heard this old adage from our grandparents and elders. I finally stopped to think about what it truly means.

If you were to stand in the midst of a vast forest, you would of course be surrounded by millions of trees of various sizes and shapes. There is life in the forest but can you see it? Do you hear the birds chirping, or smell the scents of nature and see all of the beautiful colors surrounding you? Or is the only thing you see the tree that has rotted and fallen in front of you, presenting an obstacle in your path?

It is easy to forget about all of the things that you have in the midst of crisis and inner turmoil. Our human instinct is programmed for survival so we instantly focus on the dreaded obstacle at hand instead of looking at the bigger picture.

Sure, today you lost your job- but was that job truly suited for you? You were just dreaming about starting your own business. Wouldn't now be the perfect time?

So you are feeling mentally and physically exhausted due to life's day to day frustrations- but someone didn't wake up this morning. Someone does not have a family to call their own.

How often do you spend time focusing on the rotted tree in front of you instead of wondering in the beauty of the total picture?

Today's Challenge:

For every negative thought you have, think of two positive things going on in your life. You will soon start to reshape your thinking and begin to see life for what is instead of what it isn't.

Peace and Blessings,

Serenity and Strength Consulting

Want to have your own life coaching session?
Contact for details.