Are you operating in ego or spirit?

"The ego needs recognition. The spirit does not need to thank itself."- Stuart Wilde

My mom used to do a lot for other people. She would do so both financially and by giving her time. To this day, I'm not sure how she did it financially. She was the sole source of income in our home, and she didn't receive assistance from anywhere else. Money was tight, but she would always find a way to give to a friend in need.

I remember asking her once how she could find a way to give even when it was tight for us. Her reply was that she was blessed to be a blessing to others and she did so because she was moved to do it. So for her, it was like second nature. She gave with no questions asked. And she also gave unselfishly. She wasn't looking for anything in return. She told me that you should give to others with no expectations.

There was no ego involved. She didn't want any recognition. She didn't ask for anything back. Too often we do for other people while keeping tabs in our minds. We do for others with the expectation that they have to give in return because of what we've done for them. We are operating then in ego and not in spirit. If we operate in spirit, we give unselfishly of our time, money, effort and become a blessing to others. When we operate in spirit, we give because it's the right thing to do, not because we are going to look for something in return from others.

Today's challenge:

Be the type of person you would want others to be toward you. Operate in spirit when you connect with others. Operating in ego results in unnecessary competition and unwillingness to compromise. Operate in spirit with no expectation of recognition, applause, or reward.

Here's hoping you live your best life,

Serenity and Strength Consulting

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Letting go of hurt and pain

Letting go of hurt and pain. Tip #2 to Live Your Best Life. Why should you let go? You've been hurt before and you would like to think that the person that hurt you actually cares enough to feel bad about it.

Truth is, most people don't intentionally hurt you, and some of the hard feelings we feel are based on our own perception of the situation vs the reality of the situation and what the other person actually intended. Our temperament and our experience shapes our perceptions and our perceptions are the lens through which we view life.

There are times when you are intentionally victimized ie being robbed, assaulted, or abused. And those instances are unfortunate and also shape the way that we see our lives.

The good news is, you don't have to hold on to all of that hurt and pain. You're not supposed to hold on to it. It may feel comfortable to hold on to it, like a badge of honor. It eventually becomes a crutch. "I've been hurt before, so I don't have to be faithful in relationships." "I've been hurt before so I don't have to give my all or form strong relationships." "I've been hurt before so I can hurt other people."

None of that is true. You've been hurt before, but you don't have to wallow in the pain. Pain is a short term need. It serves to help you protect yourself briefly. You touch a hot stove, you feel the pain of the heat to notify you to move your hand. But did you realize that there is pain involved in the healing process? While that burn is healing, there will be some pain, some scabbing, some peeling until there is new skin.

Isn't that amazing? You too can come through pain in the same way. There will be pain, scabbing, peeling, but in the end, you should come out a new person. A person ready to let go of the past and live life in the present. Learn to forgive not for the other person's sake, but for your own. Leting go is not a sign of weakness, it is a vision of strength.

Peace and Blessings,

Serenity and Strength Consulting
Twitter @tgrantlifecoach

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Birds of a feather

Take a second to look at the kinds of people that you have in your circle. Who do you keep closest to you?

When my husband first met my friends, his comment to me was that he loved the fact that I had a lot of genuine people around me and in my corner. He loved the fact that I could be a few states away and could make a phone call and easily find someone that would help me out- no questions asked. One of the things that he said that struck me was when he said that the fact that I had friends like that said a lot about who I am. I had never really thought about it before. To me, a friend was someone that gives as much as you do for them; someone that you don't have to see or talk to everyday, but when you do connect, it's like time never passed.

I have to say that I am fortunate to have some great people in my circle. Not only the people that I've known for most of my life, but also the new people that I have met as well as I grow older. Now most of my friends are mothers, wives, working professionals- just like myself. I also tend to hang out with people who are motivated, women who want more than mediocre, and people that think positively and are not down for drama and chaos.

That conversation with him made me realize that we have a choice in the type of people that we have around us when we are adults. It's not like it was when you were in grade school and forced to deal with certain people that you would prefer not to. This includes family too at this point.

Is your social life filled with drama? Something in you is attracting that drama- Birds of a feather.

Can you look back and say that you have at least 1-2 friends that you have a positive relationship with that you have known and connected with for over 10 years? Do you constantly find yourself cycling through friends every few years or so- Birds of a feather.

Do you find yourself thinking at times that your friend is trifling and wondering why they aren't there for you when you need them- Birds of a feather.

If you find that you are unable to have people in your corner that you can truly trust- maybe you are not as trustworthy as you think you are. It's like when I hear women say that they don't hang out with other women because other women cause too much drama...but they forget about the drama that they cause.

The old saying goes "Birds of a feather flock together."

Who is in your flock?

Today's Challenge:

Inventory the type of people you have in your circle. Discover what it is about you that attracts and allows those type of people in your life. Decide what needs to be changed and have the courage to change it. It may be hard to walk away from some of the people that are in your circle after doing the inventory, but at what cost are you allowing them to remain in your circle?

Peace and Blessings,

Serenity & Strength Consulting